SOUTH BEND -- Michael A. Hess never stopped searching for his birth mother. "I had just left convent school," she said with an air of wistful regret. Those girls have nobody to blame except themselves.". I just had some new light switches. Afterwards, her father would not take her back because of the shame: he had told friends, neighbours and Philomena's sisters that she had gone away and no one knew where she was. And Ms. Kavanagh (who is a Democrat) recalled that in addition to his beliefs about limited government, Mr. Hesss religious upbringing had lasting effects on what he became. [2] Lee did not know where her son was sent by the nuns after she left the Abbey after being pressured into signing the adoption papers. His book contains a photograph of Hess with Sr Hildegarde at the abbey in 1993 when he was dying from Aids. He'd worked directly for Ronald Reagan in the White House, and when George Bush Senior became president, he had made Michael his chief legal counsel. Ms Lee said the abbey had known her contact details, but had not shared them with her son. I didn't want him to go. He was born in the Irish abbey where his pregnant mother had sought refuge and, after his birth, was compelled into servitude for more than three years. These things were done in a different time, but you would have thought that an apology surely would be the first step in healing all these wounds. In the course of my research, I came into possession of Marge Hess's diaries and was able to trace her innermost thoughts as she flew to Ireland in August 1955 to scour the church's mother and baby homes for a little girl. This interview has been condensed and edited. Michael Hess, adopted to America, visited Sean Ross Abbey in Ireland three times looking for his birth mother. 'The homes were embedded in the State system and I believe were partly funded by the State. The nuns wouldnt tell you. That son was Michael Hess, or Anthony Lee, as he was known to his teenage unwed mother, Philomena Lee. He drove me when they discovered I was pregnant. It is my own fault and now it is my woe. Thats how Philomena experienced it; it was just out of reach, just beyond her.. Similarly, he followed Christianity and his birth sign was Cancer. It was 1952. He was born Anthony Lee to Philomena Lee in Ireland, and spent his first years of life in a convent before being adopted by Marge and Doc Hess of St. Louis, Missouri. The controversy has, if anything, enhanced the draw of the filmwhich has taken 7.1 million (8.5 million) at the UK box office and more than 1 million in Ireland to date. Pic: Leah Farrell/RollingNews.ie. Mr Sixsmiths book says both Lee and her son, who become chief counsel to the Reagan and Bush administrations, visited the abbey looking for each other in 1977, yet Sr Hildegarde never passed the information on. Even in a film that brings the viewer through an emotional wringer, the scene has the power to shock. I was angry in the beginning, and I used to think, why did this happen to me? ShunnedSr Julie has pointed out that the congregation ran the home on behalf of the State at a time when single mothers were often shunned by their families. Hess was a man possessed by many demons, which could be traced back to the fact that he had been a stolen baby, the child of an unmarried mother in Ireland who had been sold for profit for adoption in the USA, and his story is told in the recently released movie about his mother, Philomena, with Judi Dench playing the lead role. He said to me, O.K., just as a person, if you hear somebody my age has pneumonia, do you automatically think they have AIDS? I said, Yes, but Im very aware. He said, Do you think most people are?. We were so browbeaten, it was such a sin. We had to lose our identities. Philomena:We were ostracized in them days because we had babies out of wedlock, because that was a very awful thing to do. The nuns had had Pete's contact details all along - and they had accepted a substantial donation for the burial plot. 'I went with only what I was wearing and knew nothing more than that I was going there to have my baby,' she said. His behaviour brought with it the terrible fear of exposure that would destroy him as a senior Republican official, but he could not stop himself. It was never, ever from the start meant to be an attack on the Church. Such was the power of the church, and of Archbishop John Charles McQuaid, that the state bowed before its demands, ceding responsibility for the mothers and babies to the nuns. Obviously my mom and I have no experience of being here in Washington and meeting senators, thats like. He was a terrific cook, and a demon dancer and DJ. I slept in a large dormitory with other women and girls, some of whom were pregnant, and others who already had their babies. Pete stood by him, but Michael's health began to deteriorate. Nobody really knew what went on behind the walls or dared ask. ", Philomena says she fought against signing the terrible undertaking. I just didn't know what had happened to him ". As a rising star of the Republican National Committee, he masterminded the party's electoral strategy, brokering the redistricting (gerrymandering) reforms that kept them in power for more than a decade. The couple reportedly got. 0 Comments; pet friendly cabins in gatlinburg tn by owner The most wrenching scene in the film is when she spots her young son being taken away from the convent by the American couple who adopt him, almost as an afterthought, to be a companion to the young girl they had originally come to claim. Philomena:Sometimes. Now, you dont work in a psychiatric hospital and not see some awful, sad faces. For decades, Philomena Lee didnt think there was anything interesting about her life story. 'That hurt me . Jane:We had no idea what to expect. Jane:Well, you told me. This is what happened. Adoption parties: the best way for children and parents to meet? It was awful.. It threw up a Hardyesque tale of coincidences and missed connections, and a powerful indictment of two historical eras: 1950s Ireland and 1980s America. The story of the woman who inspired the film "Philomena" is heartbreaking. For them it was not only a matter of sin and morality, but one of pounds, shillings and pence. People like Mari and her colleagues have been trying for years to get the government in Ireland to give people rights to their records. But they didnt give us any information about the American side of things. We became residents of the country to have a quiet life.. A lot of the babies born, their offspring, theyre now looking for them. Philomena:Im sure he is. Philomena Lee with actor Steve Coogan, who starred in the movie Philomena. But they kind of caused the problem in the first place. She went back to the convent in Roscrea several times between 1956 and 1989 and asked the nuns to help her. Yes, there are those artfully staged flashbacks, but Mr. Hess is always a little out of reach to quote Mr. Coogan, who plays the journalist who helps Philomena track him down and who was a co-writer of the screenplay. St. Patricks Day was huge around our house. He was physically attractive and gifted, ran cross-country and sang in school musical productions. He was one of the unseen insiders who make Washington run: a top expert on congressional redistricting whose legal work at the Republican National Committee helped the GOP win the House of Representatives for the first time in 40 years. She has started to go to mass again. Throughout the film, Mr. Hess remains something of an enigma to the audience, which is why his real-life story may seem so tantalizing to viewers. They just said they didnt have any records, which I guess was true. She said she could only vaguely recollect her arrival on May 6, but that after a short handover with a nun, she was taken away and her aunt and brother left. Eventually, Libberton pieced together the identity of Anthony: Renamed Michael Hess by his American parents, hed grown up to bea top attorneyfor the Republican National Committee. Unable to cope, her father sent her to board at the Mount St Vincent convent school and orphanage in Limerick. For decades she tried to find him. In the late 1980s, Michael Hess became infected with HIV. The purpose is to enable Sister Barbara to make my child available for adoption to any person she considers fit and proper, inside or outside the state. You came out to see me. Obviously people have come out and said, This is an anti-Catholic film. It was never intended to be. Icurse myself every time I think of it. The nuns again refused to tell him where he could. 'It never occurred to me to ask whether I could go home now I had given birth. It was here that you might find Michael Hess, a lawyer for the Republican National Committee during the Reagan and Bush administrations, and something of a regular (at least during his early days in Washington). His partner, Mr. Dahllof, said this did not occur in real life, but theres little question the disease caused Mr. Hess to retreat somewhat. We do hold a view as regards the veracity of a number of statements in the book, she said. She knew I had been a journalist and she had a friend who wanted my help to solve a family mystery. When rumours of the church's role began to emerge decades later, much of the incriminating paperwork disappeared in unexplained circumstances, and even today the church guards its adoption archives fiercely. Ms Lee said she recalled that a couple of women tried to run away, but that on each occasion they were brought back by garda. Like the elusive character in the film, he seemed somewhat unknowable even to those he considered friends, some of whom didnt even know he was adopted or from Ireland. Another caller who was born in the abbey said she found Sr Hildegarde to be co-operative. Dahllof, Higdon and Hesss other friends and co-workers all resist tendencies in the book and movie to caricature or pigeonhole him as a gay man, or a Republican, or anything else. They could just say sorry. They were very pleasant very nice. He slowly came to grips with his sexuality as he moved into adulthood, dating a series of men and then settling into a decade-plus relationship with Steve Dahllof, who worked in public relations for the Food Marketing Institute, then the National Restaurant Association. When George Bush Sr became president, he made Mike his chief legal counsel. He had an insatiable curiosity and would read voraciously from Spin magazine to the American Bar Association magazine to the Village Voice, Dahllof said. Has he gone to Vietnam? Be the first to read breaking news, the best sports coverage & top entertainment stories. It also confirmed that she would never try to contact him. We were ostracized so much. Tragically Anthony Lee, who became Michael Hess, died from Aids before mother and son could be reunited. Philomena Lee issued a powerful sworn statement to the High Court, in which she told her heartbreaking story, and highlighted what she called the 'cruel and inhuman' treatment of vulnerable women like her. You didnt query it, you just didnt query it. Steve Coogan, as Martin, seems confused by it, asking, Just like that? But Judi Dench, as you, says it actually takes everything inside you to forgive. She said all the women at the abbey were given new names - hers was Marcella - and there was little or no discussion about their families back home. In 1980, Bob Bauman, considered by many to be the Newt Gingrich of his day, lost his re-election bid after being arrested with a male teenage prostitute. Chief National Correspondent. Mari:Yeah, absolutely not in Ireland. In fact, if Hess was consumed by anything, it was his search for his biological mother. To order a copy for 11.99 with free UK p&p, go to theguardian.com/bookshop or call 0330 333 6846, Unmarried mother Philomena Lee was forced to give up her son to Irish nuns, who sold him on to rich Americans. Michael just never got healthy again after he was diagnosed., Sixsmiths book portrays Hess as carousing in biker bars, but Dahllof said the reality was much tamer. We spent so many cold, damp, drizzly days in Ireland looking for his mother, recalled Dahllof, who is known in the book and movie by the pseudonym Pete Nilsson . She said that as a former nurse, she was aware of the importance of knowing about relatives' medical conditions. He was tormented by the double life he was forced to lead and by the fact that his work was entrenching in power a party that victimised his friends and lovers. Were the nuns as big of an obstacle in learning about Anthony as they appeared in the movie? When I saw the movie, I was thunderstruck.. Indeed, Hesss story summons up a time not so distant in years, but ages ago in public perception when it was all but impossible to be an openly gay Republican at the top levels of Washington politics, as the AIDS crisis raged and the Moral Majority crusaded against the evils of homosexuality. Michael Hess was an Irish-conceived American attorney, vice president, legal counsel, and later boss lawful guidance for the Republican National Committee (RNC) in the 1980s and mid-1990s. And were only talking about seven years ago. Doc Hess learned only after his sons death that Michael was both gay and had been struggling with AIDS. Jane:So she sat down, and we did open a bottle of wine, and she just came out with it. At the time they did it, they took me in, they gave me a home for my baby. I agreed to a meeting, and found myself embarking on a five-year quest for a man I had never met. Neither is there any record of meetings between the nuns and Hess and his adoptive sister, Mary, who was also born in the abbey. Sixsmith depicts the elder Hess as a martinet, and by the end of Michaels life, the two were essentially estranged. They were part of the solution, but they were part of the problem. I was trying to leave, but a woman said she had a message for me. Like Michael, many of them are still looking for their parents and, through them, for their identity. She kept her secret but never forgot her son. But once I found out how successful he was, then I was able to put my heart to rest and my mind to rest. We felt like we were following in Anthonys footsteps because he worked in these buildings. It said: 'I was very saddened to hear of Sr Hildegarde's passing. Here in the States, we tend to get a lot more encouragement and sympathy. But perhaps this shouldnt be so surprising. The reason for the secrecy was that he had been born outside of marriage in Ireland at a time when such things were considered shameful. Philomena Lee with actor Steve Coogan, who starred in the movie Philomena. She was delightful. In the 1950s, she and her husband rather informally adopted a son from a woman living in London, but originating in Derry Londonderry, Northern Ireland. Vincent Orphanage Sexual and physical abuse, Abuse scandal in the Sisters of Mercy Other abuse allegations, Clontarf Aboriginal College Allegations of abuse, Roman Catholic Diocese of Burlington History, Daughters of Charity of Saint Vincent de Paul Allegations of child abuse in Scotland, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Michael_A._Hess&oldid=1131679172, George Washington University Law School alumni, Short description is different from Wikidata, Articles with unsourced statements from April 2020, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 5 January 2023, at 07:22. I didn't know where babies came from ", When her pregnancy became obvious, her family had Philomena "put away" with the nuns. The 88-year-old said the adoptions carried out through Ireland's mother and baby homes caused 'unspeakable harm'. Then it went to the Venice Film Festival and received such fantastic reviews. She was 18 when she met a young man who bought her a toffee apple on a warm autumn evening at the county fair. He will be dearly missed by his parents, Denny and Kristy Hess; sister, Madisen Hess; brother, Markus Hess; grandmother, Marylee Hoch; along with many aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. He was born Anthony Lee in Ireland and spent his first years of life in a convent before being adopted by Marge and Doc Hess of St Louis, Missouri. Somehow after this, my brother said to me, Will you go back home and tell your daughter? after I started [getting that] feeling. If only I'd mentioned it all those years ago, maybe he wouldn't Oh Lord, it makes my heart ache! He went back to Roscrea, first in 1977 and again in 1993, to plead with the nuns to tell him how to find his mother. When Marjorie Hess first visited the abbey, she was attracted to a little girl named Mary, and then to the little boy Anthony who wouldnt leave her side. Anthony's spontaneous show of affection for Marge changed his life. And that was not all. In the late autumn of 1951, she became pregnant. It was an awful thing to have a baby out of wedlock Over the years I would say 'I will tell them, I will tell them' but it was so ingrained deep down in my heart that I mustn't tell anybody, that I never did.". Sympathy is not the same as saying sorry., Ronan McGreevy is a news reporter with The Irish Times, I used to go into work really hungover from partying, yet Id be saying, I think I should become a priest, Do you know how much credit card interest you pay? A little later I met Philomena herself. 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